So I haven’t had the best few days or week, this trying to find who I am isn’t as easy as I thought. Only good thing is that all important details is back in my maid name and Saturday I got to change the last thing. My personalised number plate, rid of married name and that was a good thing. But been a weird day today, got cleaning done and got dragged into town with bestie Emma lol, but it was later in the evening while watching call the midwife that my emotions got to me.

Part of the story line was a couple loving each other no matter what her issue was and took me back to the ex husband and how hard it was telling him about my problem and loving him more when he said it wasn’t about appearance but that he loved me and would never run away. Which really got to me and I couldn’t stop crying, had to go out into the kitchen as mum was here and didn’t want her to see me crying. Which explains my trust issues and so wish I hadn’t loved him for all that time.

I just have no idea what’s in store for me and I so want to just be happy mainly with myself.